The art of persuasion and influence

Contrary to popular belief, those who are positive-thinkers, go-getters, and overall play-by-the-book people do not always find success in life, otherwise inequality would be much rarer on Earth.  In reality, you must think differently and, more importantly, get others to think like you in order to get ahead.  Being able to persuade others sounds nefarious, but it just boils down to believing that your time and needs are important, and then calling attention to that so that you get what you need and want in life.

Influence and persuasion

Filing a Complaint

Expressing your displeasure with your circumstances is a part of life, most advice tells you to bottle it up and stay the course, but that’s not always the smartest way to get by.  Now, of course, complaining all the time is akin to crying wolf, in that if people hear you whine about every little thing, they will learn to zone you out and take you less serious when you need it most.

Using complaining as a tool of persuasion, however, can be extremely effective.  For example, if you show that you are placing trust into one person and opening up to them about something that you think is unfair, they will feel a bond with you and want to work to help solve your problem.  Of course, this works best if you already know in-advance that they share this same problem.

What can they get out of it?

A huge mistake that people make when it comes to trying to get what they want from others is just using the complaint strategy to talk about “me, me, me, and me.”  What they really should be doing is figuring out how to present a solution to their problem that includes the other party benefiting in some way.  Sometimes you can’t even get your immediate family to help you without any conditions or gains.

What you will need to do then is figure out what motivates this other person or how you can phrase questions that will lead to them agreeing to your inquiries and demands.  Your success needs to be their success, but not so obvious where they start to question what you’re really getting out of it.

Influence, persuasion and authority

Present the illusion of choice

Nobody likes to be told what they should and should not do, so if you’re trying to control the behavior of someone else, you need to have to feel like they are in control by telling them that they don’t have to do this because it’s up to them.  Just weighing the options with someone can be enough to persuade them to go in a direction that you want.  You should always play the role of a mediator, by with a slight bias; no matter the outcome of their decision, you will always be in good standing since you left it up to them.

Final Thoughts

Don’t try to play the satirical movie villain who manipulates others into getting into fights or appear like you’re some innocent lamb who isn’t in it for himself.  People can see right through that stuff, eventually.  Instead, try to tell the truth as much as possible, make it clear that you want to be successful, just as anyone else, and don’t act too cocky when you get your way.  The most persuasive ones who maintain their influence are the silent assassins, pulling strings behind the curtains.

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